Steph Campbell

I abandoned myself at a very young age.  Left myself flat.  In my mind, I couldn't get life right.  I didn't know this consciously back then.   And now looking back, it's very clear to me.  I abandoned myself at a very young age.  I had a working mind, body, arms, legs, heart.  I did not have one physical ailment except for my thinking, and I did not know this back then.  Not one disability except cleary, my thinking.  And I abandoned myself.   I thought I was a body.  I Put myself on the curb for garbage day.  I was the dented can on the shelf at the grocery store that everyone put back because it was "damaged goods".  I abandoned myself at a very young age.  I took the way people behaved very personally.  I made sense out of people, places and things by blaming myself.  If it was my fault, then I could fix it.  And when I couldn't fix it or get it right, I left myself high and dry. I stopped believing in people.  I stopped believing in myself.  I stopp

Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Do something nice for yourself. If you find yourself binging, pull up a chair.  If you find yourself crying, pull up a box of kleenex. Question one stressful thought today. Buy the book "Loving What is" by Byron Katie. Hug someone and receive the hug while giving it. Smile at someone. Listen to a child. I've spent a lifetime manipulating myself and other people.  Trying to get life to look the way I think it should look.  Believing I can control outcomes and working my arse off to do so.  It's all been a big fat lie.  I can't do this trip alone.  I need God for one and you for another.  I need to see me through you.  How else will I ever meet myself if not for you?  What do you want out of life?  What do you need?  Who do you love?  Love yourself today.  Pull up a chair and meet you. xoxo  Steph

Alright alright.. so I took a two month haitus... In the words of Bruce Hornsby "That's just the way it is, some things will never change".  I may do it again.  I apologize upfront for my shortcomings and just leaving you in the lurch phantom friends.  It's what I do sometimes, I have thoughts, believe them and then crawl into the proverbial "black hole" for a while.  We never really do know when someone is in their own "black hole" do we?  Think about it.  I'm a sure match to Jekyll and Hyde when I'm in mine.  Seriously, I can switch on and off like there is no tomorrow.  There have been thousands upon thousands of stories over the years of infidelity and even murder where you hear people go "They were so kind, I'm SHOCKED they would do something like that",  "He was so nice to me when I'd see him, I'm SHOCKED it was him", or my favorite "It looked like they had the perfect relationship, I'm SHOCK