Just a short note tonight...
I'm tired tonight with not alot to say. I find sometimes less is more. So I will say this before I head off to sleep.
I believe food is comparable to heroin or alcohol or television, or sex or shopping or anythink we use in life that we cannot put down when it's hurting us, is a filler. This may be a bold statement, but do not underestimate the power of eating for pleasure. Do not underestimate this deadly addiction that is happening in our world. It is virtually impossible to heal, change a lifestyle and find freedom from addiction without questioning our beliefs about how we have been living. In my experience there is a structure in place, the structure consists of many thoughts that support each other and ultimately drives us to use something to distract from our suffering. God or somekind of Higher Source is missing at the same time. I am seeing so clearly for myself that what is saving me is my willingness to question everything that I have ever believed that causes me pain. Sometimes I feel stripped naked with nothing to hold onto. My ego is in the process of dying with nothing to identify with, and a cheeseburger looks pretty good at that moment. Without my food, I look in the mirror and face my nasty, heinous judgements about myself and fat.
I see the light. It's not always easy. But why else are we here? If not to find our way back home to our true Self why are we on this planet? I can't find another reason. I get life can be beautiful. But there is this big elephant sitting in the middle of our universal living room called death. Most of us are terrified of it or in denial that it happens every day, supposedly. No God or Higher Source that I know would have this be the paradigm or the truth, so there has to be something awry with my vision. And I will continue to question and search until I am free.. on earth.. heaven on earth.
I have concluded at this time in my life that any food that I am fantasizing about cannot be good for me right now. This has nothing to do with my weight. My body is a whole different conversation, which I will embark on more at another time. Suffice it to say tonight.. I am hellbent on finding my way back to natural joy again. I am hellbent on letting go of food as my pleasure source. I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with enjoying food. But if your health is in jeapordy, or you are dealing with some sort of body issue or crisis as I do, then there just might be some thoughts to question. I know for me there are. Putting down food as pleasure while I find my way home seems wise to me.
I will strengthen my vision. I will see beyond this body. I am sure of this.
Good night..
Love Steph
I believe food is comparable to heroin or alcohol or television, or sex or shopping or anythink we use in life that we cannot put down when it's hurting us, is a filler. This may be a bold statement, but do not underestimate the power of eating for pleasure. Do not underestimate this deadly addiction that is happening in our world. It is virtually impossible to heal, change a lifestyle and find freedom from addiction without questioning our beliefs about how we have been living. In my experience there is a structure in place, the structure consists of many thoughts that support each other and ultimately drives us to use something to distract from our suffering. God or somekind of Higher Source is missing at the same time. I am seeing so clearly for myself that what is saving me is my willingness to question everything that I have ever believed that causes me pain. Sometimes I feel stripped naked with nothing to hold onto. My ego is in the process of dying with nothing to identify with, and a cheeseburger looks pretty good at that moment. Without my food, I look in the mirror and face my nasty, heinous judgements about myself and fat.
I see the light. It's not always easy. But why else are we here? If not to find our way back home to our true Self why are we on this planet? I can't find another reason. I get life can be beautiful. But there is this big elephant sitting in the middle of our universal living room called death. Most of us are terrified of it or in denial that it happens every day, supposedly. No God or Higher Source that I know would have this be the paradigm or the truth, so there has to be something awry with my vision. And I will continue to question and search until I am free.. on earth.. heaven on earth.
I have concluded at this time in my life that any food that I am fantasizing about cannot be good for me right now. This has nothing to do with my weight. My body is a whole different conversation, which I will embark on more at another time. Suffice it to say tonight.. I am hellbent on finding my way back to natural joy again. I am hellbent on letting go of food as my pleasure source. I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with enjoying food. But if your health is in jeapordy, or you are dealing with some sort of body issue or crisis as I do, then there just might be some thoughts to question. I know for me there are. Putting down food as pleasure while I find my way home seems wise to me.
I will strengthen my vision. I will see beyond this body. I am sure of this.
Good night..
Love Steph
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