Human....
hu·man /ˈhyumən or, often, ˈyu‐/ Show Spelled[hyoo-muhn or, often, yoo‐] Show IPA
–adjective
1. of, pertaining to, characteristic of, or having the nature of people: human frailty.
2. consisting of people: the human race.
3. of or pertaining to the social aspect of people: human affairs.
4. sympathetic; humane: a warmly human understanding.
–noun
5. a human being.
Origin:
1350–1400; earlier humain(e) , humayn(e), ME < MF humain < L hūmānus, akin to homō human being ( cf. Homo); sp. human predominant from early 18th cent.
This is it. This is all dictionary.com says about the definintion of "human". My Webster's II pocket dictionary says the same thing. Hold on, I'm going to go check the Merriam-Webster Collegiate dictionary, certainly they must have a deeper meaning to this vague word... A little better... they have all the same definitions of the previous two I've listed and then this one:
human: b: susceptible to or representative of the sympathies and frailties of human nature [...such an inconsistency is very "human"]
which then leads me to the search of the word "fraility":
frail·ty /ˈfreɪlti, ˈfreɪəl-/ Show Spelled[freyl-tee, frey-uhl-] Show IPA
–noun, plural -ties for 3.
1. the quality or state of being frail.
2. moral weakness; liability to yield to temptation.
3. a fault resulting from moral weakness: frailties of the human flesh.
Origin:
1300–50; ME frailte, frelete < OF frailete < L fragilitāt- (s. of fragilitās ). See frail1,-ity
So put simply and of course laced with my interpretation, the more slightly expanded definition of "Human" is:
-Susceptible to moral weakness, liability to yield to temptation and faults resulting from moral weakness.-
And herein lies the saga of being human.
Why is this so important to me today? Because I am noticing as a "human" adult, that I get to walk around and think that I got it goin' on. I got it together. Even when I'm in chaos, hurt, anger... I walk around thinking it is justified. I am often so reluctant to just stop. Listen. Acknowledge. There are layers upon layers of stories to get through. All kinds of stories that have nothing to do with the present moment... or reality. ANYTIME I am thinking of the past or future, I am afraid. I am afraid of something that I do not want to take a look at. Then come all of the destractions. As I write this I notice how the words do not do justice as far as matching my insides go. It looks so much better on paper. Less messy, neater, organized.
Sometimes I am afraid.
Sometimes I am not afraid. I am trusting, exuding love, adoring life and just at peace.
When I am afraid these are some of the thoughts that push me into a downward spiral, a tizzy of chaos and panic. I want out at this point and these are the culprits: "Life does NOT have my back", 'I have to make things happen", "Nobody could love me", "All the other women are better than me", "All other humans are better than me", "As soon as I'm thin I will be lovable.", "Life sucks", "People suck.", "There is nothing good about this moment.", "I am not going anywhere.", "It's over for me.", "I am completely worthless", "I have no value.", "I am ugly.", "I am doomed.", "I need to be saved.", "I need such and such to love me.", "There is no rhyme or reason to life.", "There is nothing to live for."... hmmmm should I go on? And I wonder why I end up in bed with the covers over my head.
Human beings... being human... separation. Ego, our ego's fight for an identity. To prove I am separate from you. Ego nurtures the thought we are separate. Ouch.. oh.. doesn't that hurt? Can you feel that? I am separate from you. We are separate. I separate myself from time to time. When I make up the story of danger especially. You don't want to fuck with me when I'm here. And I don't mean that as a compliment to myself. It's not pretty. You know that feeling when you are sitting in a chair and your leg is bouncing up and down out of nowhere? That's my signal. When my leg is bouncing up and down and fast, I know I am avoiding something. I am obsessing about either the past or the future. I am not satisfield with the present. It's all wrong to me. I cannot see the tree and the grass for what they are, nothing is enough. I want to fix, to scramble, to rearrange. Screw the universe! (My twelve year old son just glanced over at the screen as I type and said "why do you want to screw the universe!.. lol, too funny.)
–adjective
1. of, pertaining to, characteristic of, or having the nature of people: human frailty.
2. consisting of people: the human race.
3. of or pertaining to the social aspect of people: human affairs.
4. sympathetic; humane: a warmly human understanding.
–noun
5. a human being.
Origin:
1350–1400; earlier humain(e) , humayn(e), ME < MF humain < L hūmānus, akin to homō human being ( cf. Homo); sp. human predominant from early 18th cent.
This is it. This is all dictionary.com says about the definintion of "human". My Webster's II pocket dictionary says the same thing. Hold on, I'm going to go check the Merriam-Webster Collegiate dictionary, certainly they must have a deeper meaning to this vague word... A little better... they have all the same definitions of the previous two I've listed and then this one:
human: b: susceptible to or representative of the sympathies and frailties of human nature [...such an inconsistency is very "human"]
which then leads me to the search of the word "fraility":
frail·ty /ˈfreɪlti, ˈfreɪəl-/ Show Spelled[freyl-tee, frey-uhl-] Show IPA
–noun, plural -ties for 3.
1. the quality or state of being frail.
2. moral weakness; liability to yield to temptation.
3. a fault resulting from moral weakness: frailties of the human flesh.
Origin:
1300–50; ME frailte, frelete < OF frailete < L fragilitāt- (s. of fragilitās ). See frail1,-ity
So put simply and of course laced with my interpretation, the more slightly expanded definition of "Human" is:
-Susceptible to moral weakness, liability to yield to temptation and faults resulting from moral weakness.-
And herein lies the saga of being human.
Why is this so important to me today? Because I am noticing as a "human" adult, that I get to walk around and think that I got it goin' on. I got it together. Even when I'm in chaos, hurt, anger... I walk around thinking it is justified. I am often so reluctant to just stop. Listen. Acknowledge. There are layers upon layers of stories to get through. All kinds of stories that have nothing to do with the present moment... or reality. ANYTIME I am thinking of the past or future, I am afraid. I am afraid of something that I do not want to take a look at. Then come all of the destractions. As I write this I notice how the words do not do justice as far as matching my insides go. It looks so much better on paper. Less messy, neater, organized.
Sometimes I am afraid.
Sometimes I am not afraid. I am trusting, exuding love, adoring life and just at peace.
When I am afraid these are some of the thoughts that push me into a downward spiral, a tizzy of chaos and panic. I want out at this point and these are the culprits: "Life does NOT have my back", 'I have to make things happen", "Nobody could love me", "All the other women are better than me", "All other humans are better than me", "As soon as I'm thin I will be lovable.", "Life sucks", "People suck.", "There is nothing good about this moment.", "I am not going anywhere.", "It's over for me.", "I am completely worthless", "I have no value.", "I am ugly.", "I am doomed.", "I need to be saved.", "I need such and such to love me.", "There is no rhyme or reason to life.", "There is nothing to live for."... hmmmm should I go on? And I wonder why I end up in bed with the covers over my head.
Human beings... being human... separation. Ego, our ego's fight for an identity. To prove I am separate from you. Ego nurtures the thought we are separate. Ouch.. oh.. doesn't that hurt? Can you feel that? I am separate from you. We are separate. I separate myself from time to time. When I make up the story of danger especially. You don't want to fuck with me when I'm here. And I don't mean that as a compliment to myself. It's not pretty. You know that feeling when you are sitting in a chair and your leg is bouncing up and down out of nowhere? That's my signal. When my leg is bouncing up and down and fast, I know I am avoiding something. I am obsessing about either the past or the future. I am not satisfield with the present. It's all wrong to me. I cannot see the tree and the grass for what they are, nothing is enough. I want to fix, to scramble, to rearrange. Screw the universe! (My twelve year old son just glanced over at the screen as I type and said "why do you want to screw the universe!.. lol, too funny.)
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