I don't love where I live. No offense to the Berkshire natives - but frankly, it's just not for me. It's a beautiful place to visit. And it is especially wondrous if your companion is a "au natural, crunchy granola" nature. However; when the personality you reside with craves city lights and angry cab drivers, a plethora of eccentric people and smog filled air - living in the western part of Massachusetts is a bitch.
I stayed to create peace for my son. Well... and myself too, I must be honest. It was not easy to do, but I had to face that raising my boy took precedence over my hunger to fill my desires. I won't bore you with the details - but suffice it to say I avoided a very nasty custody battle by looking on the outside like a conformist - you know the one who "lost". I didn't want to risk losing my son - not even it meant a small percentage of a possibility that it could happen. I just wouldn't do it. He was born here, we started out as a family here and I was staring the cold hard truth in the face - I was stuck here for a while. I always knew I would give my life for my kid - but when this day happened - when I folded my dreams like clean laundry, put them in a storage chest to keep in the attic and locked the door - it became very clear that I loved my son in a way I had never loved before.
As a mother, taking the back burner becomes a part of life. As a mother who does not always know how to balance taking care of you and taking of me, life is excruciating at times.
I stayed to create peace for my son. Well... and myself too, I must be honest. It was not easy to do, but I had to face that raising my boy took precedence over my hunger to fill my desires. I won't bore you with the details - but suffice it to say I avoided a very nasty custody battle by looking on the outside like a conformist - you know the one who "lost". I didn't want to risk losing my son - not even it meant a small percentage of a possibility that it could happen. I just wouldn't do it. He was born here, we started out as a family here and I was staring the cold hard truth in the face - I was stuck here for a while. I always knew I would give my life for my kid - but when this day happened - when I folded my dreams like clean laundry, put them in a storage chest to keep in the attic and locked the door - it became very clear that I loved my son in a way I had never loved before.
As a mother, taking the back burner becomes a part of life. As a mother who does not always know how to balance taking care of you and taking of me, life is excruciating at times.
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