Steph Campbell

             I sat in church unable to cry the day after the funeral.     The church was empty, and I sat, three pews back, staring up at the 12-foot hanging crucifix and following the details of this statue with my eyes.   I gazed for what seemed like hours at the thorns digging into Jesus’s skull, the drops of blood running down his calm face, the cloth sheath that only covered his genitals.   I noticed the forgiveness in the eyes of this man-made sculpture.   I wished I could talk to Jesus in that moment because I had so many questions to ask him.   Earlier that morning my Mother asked me to go to the store and get some milk.   She told me to grab five dollars from her purse.   As I shuffled through the papers and such I came across the letter I wrote to Dad, unopened and forgotten.   I flipped out; this was my only means of saving him last week.   The letter clearly told him to listen to the doctors and get to Mass General and I believed in all of my innocence that I failed to sa

It’s the ninth day of the vipassana retreat. I have spoken no words, made no eye contact, nor have I so much as touched another living soul. I have sat still with the sensations in this body.   I have learned to visit the tightness in my neck and legs and be with it as it is not as I’d like it to be.   I take off the generous clothes that have   embraced me all day and slip into my favorite pink-and-white flowered nightgown faded and torn.   I gather my toothbrush and face wash, stored in my stark, barren single bed room, and I walk across the hallway to the bathroom.   There I prepare to retire for the evening.   It has been a long journey, worth it none-the-less. I look in the mirror and there she is.   The face I have seen reflected back to me for the past 41 years.   Ever changing, growing older for sure, but the same eyes staring back at me, the same soul.   I am humble and my ego is on sabbatical. I take the rubber band out of my hair and run my fingers down my skull to release t

Stuffing Myself Silly - The Story of a Food Junkie: "These Kinds Of Days" : I've been stuffing myself silly again.  Yes, it it true. Food is a way of both punishment AND pleasure for me. I have watched and lear...

I've been stuffing myself silly again.  Yes, it it true. Food is a way of both punishment AND pleasure for me. I have watched and learned of all the ways it is punishment and pain. I am currently living these results. I was not so aware of the immense pleasure that I use it for as a substitute for life, beauty and joy. And is seems to have certainly gone awry. Love and joy gone awry. I haven’t stopped eating badly. But I have added some raw foods again. I don’t want to sugarcoat (pardon the pun) my current process however; so I would like to just say a bit about how I have seen me use it as pleasure. I am bored off my fucking rocker here! I hate it here! I have been people pleasing and adjusting and complying with and for other people my entire life. Most recently - and I mean recent like the last fifteen fucking years – has been my ex.   He has just pulled another massive, violating act of control and smug arrogance on me.  I will spare you all of the mo

Haven Café and Bakery Presents a Workshop:              Living Raw Foods and “The Work of Byron Katie” with Steph Campbel Thursday Evening March 31 st , 2011 6:30pm – 9:30 pm   $25 HavenCafé and Bakery 8 Franklin Street Lenox, MA 01240 We will cover: Green Smoothie recipe and      demonstration. A delicious living raw food      treat and demonstration so you can see how simple it really is. How living raw foods can      support you in your health and enhance your quality of life. Emotional eating and food      addiction. An introduction to The Work of      Byron Katie.   This class is for YOU if:   You are looking to go completely raw or simply want to add more fruits, vegetables and healthy foods to your diet.  It will be fun, easy and informative. Please R.S.V.P. if you would like to come: 413.394.4200 or sign up at Haven!!   Space is limited.   On May 10 th , 2010 I drove to Union City Michigan and embarked on a massive lifestyle change.  I had Severe T

I should tell myself that I love myself when I find victory.  When I have succeeded and done a good job.  When I am in alignment with life, when I have been kind, honest and loyal, I should tell myelf that I love myself.  And when I have failed... when I have been sloppy, messy, unpredictable and unprepared.  When I have made a mess out of life, my mind and my relationships... I should tell my self I love myself even more. My food continues to be on track.  I have lost 55 lbs. total.  My blood sugar has been a little up and down, but still I have no diabetes.  Even when it's a little up it is not in diabetic range and I know exactly what to do to correct that.  Candida is almost gone.  PH is still lingering at about 6.5.  My heart rate resting at 76.  I am dancing again!  I move my body often.  I intend to start running again in the not too distant future.  For now I dance, walk and rebound. My EED (Egoic Eating Disorder)  takes me hostage now and again still, but I am so privv

hu·man   /ˈhyumən or, often, ˈyu‐/ Show Spelled[hyoo-muhn or, often, yoo‐] Show IPA –adjective 1. of, pertaining to, characteristic of, or having the nature of people: human frailty. 2. consisting of people: the human race. 3. of or pertaining to the social aspect of people: human affairs. 4. sympathetic; humane: a warmly human understanding. –noun 5. a human being. Origin: 1350–1400; earlier humain(e) , humayn(e), ME < MF humain < L hūmānus, akin to homō human being ( cf. Homo); sp. human predominant from early 18th cent. This is it.  This is all dictionary.com says about the definintion of "human".  My Webster's II pocket dictionary says the same thing.  Hold on, I'm going to go check the Merriam-Webster Collegiate dictionary, certainly they must have a deeper meaning to this vague word... A little better... they have all the same definitions of the previous two I've listed and then this one: human: b: susceptible to or representative of the