"Well I gotta have faith.. ooh faith.. Gotta have faith-a-faith-a-faith" - George Michaels
As I opened one eye this morning ambivalent about whether I was ready to wake up or not just yet, I became keenly aware that I was indeed still alive. "I've made it another day!" I thought to myself. Another day of life, on a beautiful September day. I had a very busy schedule facing me this morning. It's not really my favorite thing to be all that busy and today I was packed solid. Met up with a friend. School P.A. meeting. Doctors appointment. Nutritionist appointment. Coaching call. Another coaching call (with Tom!). Went flat out until 9:00 pm. I started out this crisp end of the summer but really feels like fall day with my usual practice and prayer. I said "Yo... how bout' a little help down here! I seem to be lacking faith today, not really feeeeeeling it if you know what I mean. Could you please help me and throw me a sign or two???" Then I flipped open my Course in Miracles book and of course the page I landed on was all about.. yup you guessed it.. faith. Except a bit different than the faith I was so eager to attain.
The Course suggested that I have endless amounts of faith. I am a faith mongor according to this particular reading. I could give programs in faith, change lives with my never ending faith. The words were glaring and in my face. What I got from this powerful reading was that I have all the faith in the world in the body, in disease, in death, in hunger, in money, in looking good and anything else my big fat ego sees as salvation. The other stuff like God and love and truth, I don't need faith for because it just is so, period, but if I were investing in a "I got my money on you" contest, the former crap would win. Well excuuuuuussse me. Ain't that the truth.
So I decided today to notice all of the things I do have faith in, because this reading really hit home. I noticed the faith I had in the candy bar I fell in love with and wanted to marry pre-maturely without getting to "really" know it, I had faith that all my happiness was hiding in that little chocolate bar of heaven. I noticed the faith I had in my scale that I stepped on. The faith I had my anger and disappointment in my friend that hadn't called me back. The faith I had that my mother didn't love me as a child in her schizophrenic bi-polar state. The faith I have in believing that I can predict my future and trust me, it is not always a "Pollyanna like" prediction, if you know what I mean. I have LOTS of faith, I should have been named Faith.. that's how much faith I witnessed me having. As I watched myself invest in all of the afore-mentioned garbage... it became as obvious as a beard on a baby that I sometimes miss the boat. As a matter of fact, I end up swimming more than I would like to admit.
I've decided I'm going for peace today. I am going to see what it's like to simply notice when I'm being a hot head and go for the solution that will bring peace. Example, someone cuts me off on these busy Berkshire roads (cough cough) and I: a. Flip them off, then eat a snickers bar in one bite. b. Drive the front end of my car so fast and hard into their car that I end up being pulled by them because only my two back wheels are on the ground and eat a snicker's bar while being pulled. or c. Forgive them and realize that I too have done that before and let them go with a smile then head home and drink my green smoothie. And today, I am going to choose c. Oh yes I am. And then if I find myself stuck and not able to choose peace of mind, I am going to come here to this blog and write out my stressful thought and do "The Work" of Byron Katie with you.
I am going back out into the world right now. I have a couple things I need to do, at the top of the list.. choose peace.
Wish me luck..
Steph
The Course suggested that I have endless amounts of faith. I am a faith mongor according to this particular reading. I could give programs in faith, change lives with my never ending faith. The words were glaring and in my face. What I got from this powerful reading was that I have all the faith in the world in the body, in disease, in death, in hunger, in money, in looking good and anything else my big fat ego sees as salvation. The other stuff like God and love and truth, I don't need faith for because it just is so, period, but if I were investing in a "I got my money on you" contest, the former crap would win. Well excuuuuuussse me. Ain't that the truth.
So I decided today to notice all of the things I do have faith in, because this reading really hit home. I noticed the faith I had in the candy bar I fell in love with and wanted to marry pre-maturely without getting to "really" know it, I had faith that all my happiness was hiding in that little chocolate bar of heaven. I noticed the faith I had in my scale that I stepped on. The faith I had my anger and disappointment in my friend that hadn't called me back. The faith I had that my mother didn't love me as a child in her schizophrenic bi-polar state. The faith I have in believing that I can predict my future and trust me, it is not always a "Pollyanna like" prediction, if you know what I mean. I have LOTS of faith, I should have been named Faith.. that's how much faith I witnessed me having. As I watched myself invest in all of the afore-mentioned garbage... it became as obvious as a beard on a baby that I sometimes miss the boat. As a matter of fact, I end up swimming more than I would like to admit.
I've decided I'm going for peace today. I am going to see what it's like to simply notice when I'm being a hot head and go for the solution that will bring peace. Example, someone cuts me off on these busy Berkshire roads (cough cough) and I: a. Flip them off, then eat a snickers bar in one bite. b. Drive the front end of my car so fast and hard into their car that I end up being pulled by them because only my two back wheels are on the ground and eat a snicker's bar while being pulled. or c. Forgive them and realize that I too have done that before and let them go with a smile then head home and drink my green smoothie. And today, I am going to choose c. Oh yes I am. And then if I find myself stuck and not able to choose peace of mind, I am going to come here to this blog and write out my stressful thought and do "The Work" of Byron Katie with you.
I am going back out into the world right now. I have a couple things I need to do, at the top of the list.. choose peace.
Wish me luck..
Steph
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