Steph Campbell

I eat and eat and addiction kicks in until I allow something or someone in life to move me.  I stifle these feelings and harbor resentment and ponder the "what if's" of my youth until I surrender to being moved to tears.  I got back on track finally.  I told you I was done and I meant it.  I followed my heart and the cues of this body and took stellar care of myself today in the food department.  I drank my green smoothies, ate my veggies and protein and had my shakes with blueberries.  I took my vitamins, moved my body and gave and received love.  I spoke with my son and most importantly gave myself a day of rest and relaxation.  And then I decided to watch television.  What did Yours Truly land on?  "Man vs. Food".. hello?  And I stayed and I watched Adam embark on a HUMUNGOUS Sunday.  For anyone who has never watched this gluttonous T.V. show (which I happen to LOVE), it is about a man, I would say in his late twen...

"When you know that there is enough, you stop competing with others.  You stop competing for love, or money, or sex, or power, or whatever it is you felt there was not enough of.  The competition is over." - Communion With God by Neil Donald Walsh. I have not stopped competing as a rule.  Sometimes I stop, but then I stop stopping and compete.  Walsh goes onto say "This alters everything.  Now instead of competing with others to get what you want, you begin to give what you want away.  The reason for this is clear.  It has nothing to do with the fact that what you have done is "morally right," or "spiritualy enlightened," or the "Will of God".  It has to do with a simple truth: There is noone else in the room.  There is only one of us ." I love this!  Oh don't get me wrong, I am not so generous all the time.  I eat becaus I believe in lack.  I use food to fill this black velvet void that I believe lives somewhere insid...

Forgot to tell you, no green smoothies today!  Damn.  I did get my vita mixer though ... green smoothies tomorrow!! 

Well... getting back on the wagon wasn't as easy as I thought it would be today.  I got up, had my shake with blueberries and the intentions I had paved the road to hell!!  My son was chosen to shoot a music video by two film students.  My son is eleven and I went to watch.  It was a true joy.  I loved watching him in the creation of this life experience.  But between you and me, I found myself a little jealous.   I sat and watched as life just fell into place for him .  Both his father and I were there.  And while I became very still and present with my thoughts that were having me suffer, I thought "my life has fallen into place too, it just doesn't look the way you think it "should" look Stepharino".   That's right, while I was having my internal selfish temper tantrum, I realized that Jonah was born at the very perfect time and his life is unfolding in the very perfect way.. and if this is true, then so is mine.  I suppose ...

I'm starting this blog tonight.  I know I can learn to listen keenly to myself and do what's right for this body.  I know I can reverse every health issue I have... what are they?  Are you ready?  Fugetaboutit!  I'll tell you after I reverse them.  My mind isn't strong enough to take the judgement, so I'll keep that part to myself until I feel ready to hear the crap that comes along with the decline of the body.  We're all so damn attached to this flesh.. at least I am, for now.  I am going to write about my process of healing every day until I don't anymore.  I have been having a hard time losing weight.. I will tell you this, I have insulin resistance and it has been a mofo to lose a lb.  Although I have lost 8 lbs in 7 weeks and 30 since last October.  I have also gained 2 lbs. of muscle.. slow maybe.. but moving in the right direction.  I sometimes want it gone now!  I have about 120 lbs. to lose.  That's right, y...