Steph Campbell

Too tired to write tonight.  What a day.  Rosacea from a taxed and now cleansing liver.  I did the Work of Byron Katie ALOT today.  Noticing all my thoughts and stories that keep me in my addiction.  This body knows how to heal.  It's on it's way.  It's my mind I continue to question. I got through all of my enemas and cleansing today. Dinner was much easier to get down.  My face is burning up red as I write this so I am going to listen to this body.  I will stop trying to connect with you my phanton friends.  I will trust our connection, I will know it's there even when I'm not writing to you.  I will listen to this body now.  I am going to put a cold cloth on this face and watch a movie in bed while sipping warm water. Until tomorrow.. much love xoxoxo  Steph

If last week anyone ever said to me "uh by the way Steph at 6:30 am next Wednesday May 12th you will be out of bed ferociously jumping on a rebounder (mini-trampolline)" I would stopped breathing from the amount of laughter that hurled out of me while I was rolling on the floor holding my gut.  No joke.  And yet, here I was doing this very thing.  I had my first lesson of the day.. "Life is what's happening while I'm making plans". As I felt the ripple effect of my belly hitting my upper thighs while jumping on this rebounder, I was looking for Bobby.  He's our leader this week.  What a beautiful soul this man is, so loving and committed to this journey of healing the very sick bodies, sometimes life threatening, that seek him out.  Where is Bobby?  This is what my virgoan, rigid mind was chanting "where's Bobby?  Where's Bobby"?  I hadn't noticed that this body was jumping up and down with a big smile on it's face while canoo

I'm doing a 21 day reverse diabetes progam in Michigan.  I will be blogging my experience througout my journey.  It will be candid and raw and truthful.  And as I've learned by now, truth always changes. Day One.. 3 bowls of energy soup 2 shots of wheatgrass Lots and lots of water An orange wtf? I was in such a good mood when I woke up this morning.  Then suddenly, I wasn't. The first shot of wheatgrass was okay.  I was creating a new relationship with this body that I think is me.  "I love you, thank you, I trust you" I said to "it" (the body).  Do yo' thang body!  I watched myself as I relaxed into the cosmic truth that there is nothing for me to do.  This neutral, nothing body knows how to reset itself to homeostasis.  It just knows.  Since I think I am the doer, I think I must prepare for this.  It's kind of like what Ron said today.. As this body grows a baby, do I have to keep my eyes and ears on the process?  For nine months a

I abandoned myself at a very young age.  Left myself flat.  In my mind, I couldn't get life right.  I didn't know this consciously back then.   And now looking back, it's very clear to me.  I abandoned myself at a very young age.  I had a working mind, body, arms, legs, heart.  I did not have one physical ailment except for my thinking, and I did not know this back then.  Not one disability except cleary, my thinking.  And I abandoned myself.   I thought I was a body.  I Put myself on the curb for garbage day.  I was the dented can on the shelf at the grocery store that everyone put back because it was "damaged goods".  I abandoned myself at a very young age.  I took the way people behaved very personally.  I made sense out of people, places and things by blaming myself.  If it was my fault, then I could fix it.  And when I couldn't fix it or get it right, I left myself high and dry. I stopped believing in people.  I stopped believing in myself.  I stopp

Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Do something nice for yourself. If you find yourself binging, pull up a chair.  If you find yourself crying, pull up a box of kleenex. Question one stressful thought today. Buy the book "Loving What is" by Byron Katie. Hug someone and receive the hug while giving it. Smile at someone. Listen to a child. I've spent a lifetime manipulating myself and other people.  Trying to get life to look the way I think it should look.  Believing I can control outcomes and working my arse off to do so.  It's all been a big fat lie.  I can't do this trip alone.  I need God for one and you for another.  I need to see me through you.  How else will I ever meet myself if not for you?  What do you want out of life?  What do you need?  Who do you love?  Love yourself today.  Pull up a chair and meet you. xoxo  Steph

Alright alright.. so I took a two month haitus... In the words of Bruce Hornsby "That's just the way it is, some things will never change".  I may do it again.  I apologize upfront for my shortcomings and just leaving you in the lurch phantom friends.  It's what I do sometimes, I have thoughts, believe them and then crawl into the proverbial "black hole" for a while.  We never really do know when someone is in their own "black hole" do we?  Think about it.  I'm a sure match to Jekyll and Hyde when I'm in mine.  Seriously, I can switch on and off like there is no tomorrow.  There have been thousands upon thousands of stories over the years of infidelity and even murder where you hear people go "They were so kind, I'm SHOCKED they would do something like that",  "He was so nice to me when I'd see him, I'm SHOCKED it was him", or my favorite "It looked like they had the perfect relationship, I'm SHOCK

I just have not been inspired to write as of late.  I sit at my computer and stare at the screen, listen to the background music, close my eyes, go deep within and ..... nothin'.  Even with my book, I'm so close to finishing and I can barely open it up in the morning when it's time to write.  I guess it's not time to write, right? Never-the-less, I've been contemplating why I go through these very long gaps in my inner process.  Gaps of feeling as though I am not connected to this Universe or God or You in any way.  As I investigate this -for lack of a better phrase- phenomenon, these are the thoughts that come to mind:  "I'm too old to have my dreams", "I'm nobody", "What the use", "I'm too tired", "I'd rather watch a movie", "I don't want to be vulnerable", "This isn't helping my process" ... got it?  Good. Then I question these thoughts and close my eyes and go even